Understanding and acting on atypical behavior

Background:

• A French father, expatriate in China, bilingual Chinese wife.
• Mixed race child aged 3 years and 8 months, begins his first school year in China.

Classroom observations:

• The child remains isolated and does not seem to want to interact with his peers.
• Refuses to eat at school.
• Don't take a nap.
• Has episodes where he shouts in class, waking up other students.
• Described by the teacher as "violent", having hit the teachers several times.
• Has a ritual where he sits on the toilet without using it when he is stressed.
• Distracted in class, mumbling, moving hands, often not paying attention.

Behaviors at home (observed by the father):

• Repetitive behavior with toys.
• Repetition of words, sudden cries.
• Covers his ears as if hearing a loud noise.

Father's concern:

• Suspects child may have signs of autism.
• Concerned after seeing photos showing his son behaves differently from his classmates.
• Offers to consult a specialist to evaluate his son.

Mother's reaction:

• Believes the child is normal.
• Finds the father is excessively worried and reacts negatively to his concerns.

Father's question:

• Ask for advice and ask yourself if he is worrying unnecessarily.

Reply:

The period of adaptation to a new school is often a challenge for children, especially if they are in a multicultural and multilingual context. For a mixed-race child, managing English, French and Chinese simultaneously, the challenge can be even greater. Added to this are behaviors that could seem atypical, thus highlighting parents' concerns.

Understanding the child's behavior at school:

Insulation: The child could feel a certain insecurity in a new environment, leading him to isolate himself.
Refusal to eat: The change in diet or the less familiar environment of the canteen can destabilize some children.
Agitated Behaviors: Excitement, insecurity or over-stimulation can cause behaviors such as yelling or not paying attention in class.

Behaviors at home:

Repetitive behaviors, increased sensitivity to noises, or sudden seizures can actually recall certain traits observed in autism spectrum disorders. However, it is essential to understand that each child is unique, and the presence of one or more of these behaviors does not necessarily confirm a diagnosis.

The parents' reaction:

Divergence of opinion between parents regarding their child's behavior is common. It is crucial to address these concerns as a team and seek professional opinions where necessary.

Next steps:

• Continuous observation: Continue to observe your child's behavior in different environments to determine whether this is an ongoing problem or a temporary phase.
• Professional consultation: If concerns persist, consider consulting a specialist in child psychiatry or child psychology. Early diagnosis, if necessary, can help implement appropriate interventions.
• Academic support: Consider working with teachers and education professionals to put together a personalized support plan for your child.
• Communication: Speak openly with your spouse about your concerns and observations. Understanding and mutual support are essential to manage potential challenges together.

Every child is unique, and it is natural for parents to worry about their child's well-being and development. With continued observation, necessary support and, if necessary, professional consultation, you will be better equipped to understand and support your child on their developmental journey.